Modesty is a virtue, but this really is the best guacamole ever so any modesty I may usually have has gone straight out the window.

I know this isn’t necessarily authentic guacamole for lack of tomatoes and red onion, and the garlic in this will surely make traditionalists sneer, but if there’s any true test to its greatness it will be that the raw onion and fresh coriander go totally undetected by my many onion hating, coriander bashing friends. 

Grating the onion and garlic right into the avocado means this can be whipped up in a matter of minutes, which is handy when it will inevitably be devoured at the same rate. Just make sure your avocados are ripe (essential) and that you have plenty of tortilla chips, because guacamole without tortilla chips is a very sad dip indeed.

Given that the lime and raw onion possess magical abilities to prevent the avocado from oxidising, adding the stones is less of an extra careful precaution and more of a doesn't this look kind of pretty? decision. I like to serve mine with a sprinkle of hot chilli flakes, chopped coriander and a glug of the best quality olive oil I've got. 

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Guacamole

Makes one big ass bowl

Adapted from Heidi Swanson’s Guacamole recipe

Ingredients

4 ripe, medium sized avocados

1/4 white onion, finely grated

1 garlic clove, minced

Tabasco hot sauce

Juice of 1 lime

1/4 teaspoon salt

Fresh coriander, finely chopped

Hot chilli flakes and good quality olive oil to serve

Method

1. On a chopping board, mash the avocado with a fork and then transfer it to a large bowl. 
2. Directly grate in the onion and garlic clove and mix well. 
3. Add around 10 dashes of Tabasco and the juice of a lime.
4. Add 1/4 teaspoon of salt and taste - add as needed. 
5. Finally stir in around 2 tablespoons of chopped coriander.
6. Serve drizzled with olive oil and top with extra coriander and chilli flakes. And tortilla chips, obviously.

Where do I start with this one? There are so many great things about this grilled, creamy, spicy Mexican street food staple that attempting to put it all into words is no easy feat. 

I mean, just look at them. Yellow as the sun with a cheeky bit of char, lathered in a completely unnecessary yet more than welcome chilli mayo dressing, topped with crumbled super creamy queso fresco (or feta works just as well), finished with a few zesty sprinkles of lime, a blessing of chopped coriander and a dusting of chilli powder for that all important kick. I'll let you digest all of that for a sec. It's kind of magical, right? 

A bite out of one of these beauties and you'll wonder why you have ever bothered eating corn another way. Seriously, what is the actual point of grilled corn on the cob with a bit of butter when you can eat them like this? That Clover advert depicting a grown man crying over a bit of butter rubbed half-arsed onto boiled corn has been selling lies to this nation for far too long. I am hoping that this recipe will put a stop to crap corn. 

So here I am, shouting it from the goddam rooftops of South West London! Banish the butter! Say no to bland, boiled corn! And get loco with your otherwise completely mediocre yellow knobbled large grain plant (apparently not actually a vegetable...?). 

PS. it just so happens to be Cinco de Mayo on, funnily enough, the 5th of May. If you know a better way to celebrate Mexican Independence, a historic event that most likely has nothing to do with you, than with these elotes then I challenge you to Mexican fiesta dual, your dish vs. mine. Sombreros, compulsory.

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Mexican Street Corn

Serves 4

Ingredients

4 sweetcorn cobs, husked

65g mayonnaise

1 teaspoon Sriracha sauce

Zest and juice of half a lime

30g queso fresco, or feta

Chilli powder

Bunch of coriander, roughly chopped

Method

1. Wrap each corn cob in aluminium foil and bake in the oven for 35 minutes at 200°c
2. Meanwhile mix together the mayo and Sriracha and set aside.
3. Once the corn cobs are done, finish them off by removing from the foil and putting under the grill for 5-10 minutes in order to char slightly. You can also do this on the BBQ. Keep an eye on them so they don’t burn, and remove them from the oven/BBQ once you’re happy.
4. To serve, brush the corn with the mayo mixture then top with some lime zest and juice.
5. Crumble over the queso fresco and shake a bit of chilli powder on top.
6. Garnish with the chopped coriander, serve and devour.